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These principles will help you to understand why people react negatively to advice and how you can create a safe space for advice that won鈥檛 offend.This is great information for parents, managers and leaders.Principle 1: Remember everyone on the planet is battling a deep core fear of failure (a fear that they aren鈥檛 good enough), and this fear causes a great deal of pain. We also have subconscious programs which encourage us to avoid anything that might trigger this fear. We are never excited about conversations around our need to change because they obviously mean we aren鈥檛 good enough now. The more subconscious fear of failure a person has, the less open they are to advice. This is unfortunate because they are the ones who need the advice most, but this is still how it works.When people have good self-esteem they can handle feedback without pain or fear, but most people don鈥檛 have good self-esteem.Principle 2: People will not be open to advice or changing themselves until they first feel fully accepted as they are right now. If they don鈥檛 feel accepted now, they will insist on staying where they are until you do. Don鈥檛 be discouraged by this. You can fully accept someone as they are right now (even with behaviors you don鈥檛 like) and create a safe space where they will be more open to changing. You just have to focus on their intrinsic worth and remember it matters more than their current behavior. Never lose sight of the truth, that they are a one of a kind, irreplaceable being with the same value as you. Loving them unconditionally must come first. Once they feel your love they will be more open to your influence.Principle 3: Listening to them and validating them 鈥?honoring and respecting their right to be who they are 鈥?is what most people need most. Listening to someone validates their intrinsic worth. Listening without giving advice is a great gift and remember being an active listener is more than just nodding and repeating what they say. A good listener is also a good question-asker. You can often help someone figure out what they need to change on their own by just asking questions that help them look at the problem from different perspectives. The most powerful way to help another person is to empower them to help themselves.Principle 4: The person to whom this challenge belongs 鈥?the one who is in the class 鈥?is the only one entitled to inspiration about his or her situation. You may have been in a similar situation but that doesn鈥檛 mean your right answer is the right answer for them. They are the only one who will know which path is their perfect journey, so don鈥檛 forget this and presume to know better.As a life coach, I have learned most people already know the answers to their problems, they just don鈥檛 trust themselves. They are hoping we will tell them what they already know to quiet their fears of being wrong. Don't let them use you as a crutch. It doesn't serve them. Keep asking questions about what they think and feel until they own their inner truth. This technique also leaves room for their inner guidance to direct them. All the answers they need God and the universe will provide. 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Respecting how they feel this time will build a relationship of trust where they will be more likely to trust you next time. Parents, your teens will feel respected when you honor their "no" and they will respect you more back.Principle 6: Use more "I" statements than "you" statements. People tend to get offended when you start with "you do this" or "you have a tendency to ..." It goes over much better when you say "I have found that when I 鈥︹€?Speak to what you personally know and feel instead of making statements about them.Principle 7: Focus more on future behavior than past behavior. People get defensive and frustrated when you talk about their past bad behavior because they can鈥檛 change it. Instead, focus on their future behavior because that they have control over. 鈥淲ould you consider in the future, moving forward, working on 鈥??鈥?鈥淒o you think moving forward it might help to 鈥??鈥?Also notice how phrasing suggestions as questions delivers them in a softer way.Principle 8: Base any advice you give on principles of truth. Here are some basic truths which help people to see themselves and their situation more accurately. Most people know these, but they forget them in times of crisis when they are emotional or scared.Life truths: Life is classroom and every experience a lesson. You are here to learn, grow and love. Nothing you do or think and nothing anyone else does or thinks can diminish you. Your value is infinite and absolute. Your life鈥檚 journey is the perfect classroom for you, for one reason or another. Fear is the root cause of every problem. The way we escape fear is by choosing trust and love. Love means seeing people as the same as you. 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